Xayahshirt – 07 Years 2014 2021 Outlander thank you for the memories signatures shirt

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But for many couples, texting has become the primary mode even when a hermetic seal isn’t necessary. “It’s gotten next-level lazy,” says one. “We text so we don’t have to yell or move.” For Claire Goldsmith, an educator based in Los Angeles and the mother of a one-year-old and a four-year-old, the text chain with her partner has taken a brute, logistical bent that she says is “filled with: Zoom meeting IDs and passwords for various kid school/activities; statements like ‘I will be off this call in 10 minutes…trying my best!!!’; grocery lists; links to news/analysis.” There is lots of “looping other people into the thread, such as people who were helping with childcare or engaged virtually in various child-related activities.” We text all the time, said another friend who will remain nameless, “mainly me giving him commands.” A reverse scroll through my own recent history included requests to move the car, complaints about garbage being left outside the bin, an article about our zodiac signs (the pandemic has driven me to new, formerly scorned modes of making sense of our world), an abbreviated grocery list, scheduling requests too mundane to recount, and a link to this classic pandemic tweet.

07 Years 2014 2021 Outlander thank you for the memories signatures shirt

What is all this firing of blue-bubble missives doing to our relationships with our nearest and dearest? How is it changing our relationship that we share not only our grocery lists but our jokes in a way that is simultaneously intimate and distant? Texting may be a direct and efficient mode of communication, but it has occurred to me that messaging someone who is literally in your house is just a way of saying, “Leave me alone.” The home might be the office for now (and for forever?), but I am not sure I want it to emulate the hushed open-office floor plan, where IRL conversation is paradoxically less common than in the chatty cubicles of yesterday and ambient noise is nothing but the deafening roar of a thousand direct message notifications from the desk five feet away.

07 Years 2014 2021 Outlander thank you for the memories signatures hoodie

What’s more, conventional wisdom argues that texting is a poor substitute for face-to-face communication. “It encourages passive—or more often passive-aggressive—behavior,” wrote the psychologist Maggie Mulqueen in 2019. “What I call ‘hit and runs.’” (Never!) Texting leads to impetuous aggression, monologues of woe; you text, the thinking goes, when you want to hear yourself think, not to actually have a conversation. “Texting breeds not just grammar and spelling illiteracy but, more importantly, emotional illiteracy as well,” Mulqueen wrote. Texting may be a direct and efficient mode of communication, but it has occurred to me that messaging someone who is literally in your house is just a way of saying, “Leave me alone.”

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